February 2015 Publisher Letter
Jan 30, 2015 11:51AM
I confess: I am a hopeless romantic. Despite life throwing me some curve balls, I still believe in true love, soul mates and happily ever after. I especially love relationship expert Arielle Ford’s definition of a soul mate: “Someone with whom you share a deep and profound connection and feel that you can completely be yourself; someone you love unconditionally and who loves you unconditionally; when you look into their eyes you have the experience of being at home.”
In the spirit of our February theme of Enlightened Relationships, I gathered expert advice on creating lasting, loving partnerships from couples close to me, asking them about the keys to their healthy coupledom.
My uncle Ian has been married to Norma for 44 years. He says they have managed to work through and let go of grievances so they don’t linger and carry over into other aspects of their relationship. They cherish many shared experiences and memories and have maintained a sense of romance and adventure through the years. Even in the midst of their busy lives, they strive to reconnect every day by taking a walk together in nature. These days, what truly beautifies their relationship is the precious time spent with family, especially their grandchildren; they do it as a team, as they have always done everything. At this stage, they genuinely recognize the value of every day and appreciate the privilege of being together.
My friend Neta has been married to Uri for 22 years. She says their relationship is based on deep friendship, mutual respect, patience, the ability to openly talk about anything and, of course, great love. To fulfill their mutual need to bond, they regularly spend quality time together doing things they both enjoy, like playing music, cooking and traveling. He loves to make her laugh, and she says he’s the funniest person she’s ever known.
My father has been married to Carol for 38 years. He thinks the most essential thing partners in relationships must do is to get outside of their own boxes and ask, “What can I do for the other person? What will make my partner happy?” Patience and tolerance for each other’s idiosyncrasies is critical because there will always be things that annoy us if we let them. Replacing hints, sarcasm or teasing with direct, open communication facilitates the journey.
My layout artist, Melanie, has been married to Kevin for 13 years. She says neither of them is interested in trying to change the other, so they completely accept one another. They get to experience total commitment and unconditional love, resting easy in the deep knowledge that their spouse will never quit or walk out. Neither intentionally hurts the other. She sums up their love affair by pointing out that the silly-grin feeling they had when they first dated hasn’t gone away, and that it’s a darn nice way to live.
May we all welcome love with such style and grace,
Gabriella Buchnik, Publisher